Neighborly Love

Did you know that my kids are "brown"?

Gasp!!! Quelle horror!!

Yep, and apparently it's causing some speculation on our block.

I've noticed that one of our neighbors hasn't been very friendly to us since we brought Nandini home. He no longer acknowledges our waves as he drives past or smiles at us if we happen to be outside at the same time. We noticed it, but didn't get too upset over it. We just figured that maybe he was going through something funky in his own life.

But the other day we happened to be at our mailboxes at the same time. I was holding Nandini and it was impossible for us to avoid each other. So I walked over and said hi and introduced Nandini (because he hadn't met her yet). He eyed me with suspicion and do you know what he said?

"Are you Muslim or something?"

What??? Where on earth did that come from? I was in total shock. Not because I was offended - I have friends who are Muslim - but because I was completely caught off-guard. It was totally unexpected. I just said, "What? Why would you think that?" and he said...

"Because you keep adopting all these kids from I-RACK"

(Yes, I know that's misspelled, but that's how he pronounced it. I-RACK.)

So what do you do?? I was stunned. Of course, later, I came up with all sorts of clever things to say, but at the time all I could muster was... "Uhm, Nandini's from India" to which he replied...

"Same thing. It's all in the Middle East"

Yikes. I was just dumbfounded. Had absolutely no idea what to to say. No idea. I should have used the opportunity to educate him, but was so stunned that I just mumbled something and went inside.

I later thought about sticking a rolled-up world map in his mailbox, but do you really want to tick off someone who already views you with suspicion?

Can you believe it? This is 2008. How can people still be so ignorant??

What would YOU have done?

Leslie

Comments

C said…
So many things to say, but since it's a neighbor ... I would have played it down. Now, do what you can to build a relationship with him.

It takes a long time to convince someone you don't have a third eye! :)

And on a much more fun note: I would have said, "You didn't hear about the new government program? I'm not really adopting these kids. Instead, I just keep them and raise them for the government. When they hit 18, they will enter a sector of the FBI, where they will be spies for the U.S. OH, and also I get a really huge tax break for doing it!"

Ya' know - one stupid comment for another.
10:50 AM
Leanne said…
wow!
I probably would have been stunned into silence but in my imaginary reality I would want to Freak Out on him.

Seriously.

Tho I love Christine's idea! heehee

And since I'm breaking my lurker silence to comment - YAY YAY YAY for Noah's breakthrough post yesterday! So excited about that!
10:53 AM
Dreama said…
I would have cried. I mean I could totally think of things to do but it would be completely in the flesh and probably wouldn't help the case. Captive thoughts...
11:27 AM
Anonymous said…
Good comment from Christine: "Now, do what you can to build a relationship with him."

Although, very hurtful words, he probably just needs to get to know your family.

You could invite him over for dinner and a movie..."I-RACK" of ribs and "I-RACK-a-phobia". {{slap myself}}....sorry, there's that fleshly thing kicking in!

Seriously, I'll pray (and I know the others visiting your blog will pray) that his eyes will be open to the beauty in your children.
2:06 PM
Amy said…
Isn't it interesting that no matter we do someone always has a comment (and typically not a very educated one). I'm feeling for you- and right where you are. Stunned. I don't know what I would have done (well, I would have wanted to just kick him in the shin) but I do know that you should be nothing but PROUD of your beautiful children and not give a second thought to people like your loving neighbor. Amy
3:28 PM
Anonymous said…
Not that I'd have been able to think of this on my feet, but you could let him know that actually, Nandini and Noah are adopted from the world's largest DEMOCRACY! ;o) It makes steam shoot out my ears to hear the ignorant things that people say! But then.... I remember some ignorant things *I've* said, and the grace of God to me, and that's MY motivation to try to respond with grace...and not *STEAM*!

Lisa H.
4:01 PM
Cherie said…
We will join you in praying for you neighbor. I think God just allowed this so that you can see this man's deep need for Jesus. I am also sure that God is going to open many opportunities for you to love and serve this man in the future. When someone offends or misjudges me, I pray for an opportunity to serve them. It will come.
Be sure of this...you are walking in His will. Don't allow the ignorance of men steal the joy that God have given you. Love you!!!
7:42 PM
Paddy said…
Both my husband and I are Indian and we both have many, many experiences where people have looked at us like we don't know english, that we ride in elephants, disease is rampant in India - all the sweeping stereotypes. What is really sad is that we have lived in the US for longer than we have lived in India, and somehow do not fit in anywhere now :(

paddy

p.s. since our adopted kids have brown skin just like us, we have not had an experience like yours in the US where shades of brown are irrelevant. But in India, people can tell our kids have darker brown skin and wonder why we adopted them! Sigh...
12:23 PM
Buddy said…
Man...that's a tough one...I am typically at a such a loss for some sarcastic retort...You know....it's so unlike me :)

Actually, I would have probably said something I would have most likely regretted later. Thank God for His grace and your ability to remain silent for the moment.

We'll be praying for you, but it did occur to me as I was reading that just a few post back you were pondering a way to change the world and toyed with the whole missionary idea...sounds to me like you just met the answer to your prayer and your opportunity at the mailbox.
10:59 PM
Lana said…
The sad thing is... it sound like something my Granddad would have said, and it breaks my heart.

How very sad, I'm sorry you had to hear those words spoken to you.
7:52 PM
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