Who Wants to Come to My House?


I was watching the Patrick Swayze/Barbara Walters interview the other night and went into the kitchen during the commercial break. I breezed passed Sim and in my most sultry voice said, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner"..... and he just looked at me... like I was an idiot or something.


I just stood there, you know, sort of... um... embarrassed while my husband and 5 year-old looked at me like I'd lost my mind.


I finally explained that NO, I'm not insane and that I had just uttered one of the biggest lines in movie history. You big doofus.


Turns out.... my dear husband had no idea what I was rambling about and has never seen - nor ever cares to watch - the movie Dirty Dancing.


How could I be married to this man for all this time and not know that he hasn't seen one of the Greatest.Movies.Ever.


Is it possible to get an annulment after 12 1/2 years of marriage? Because, clearly, I'm married to a stranger.


So I've got it in my head that I'm just going to use one of those bungee cords that I've become quite fond of lately and strap him into his recliner and then make him sit and watch Dirty Dancing.


And then I might just make it a double feature and make him sit through Ghost, too.


And since I'm feeling particularly sassy, I might even put on Steel Magnolias.


And because I'm just cruel and heartless and used to torture worms as a child and just have a plain 'ol mean streak in me, I might make him watch Beaches, too.


And because he'll be tied to his chair and won't be able to make a run for the border, I might give him a pedicure and paint his toenails hot pink and let Nandi play beauty-parlor with the Hello Kitty lipgloss she got for Christmas and the bows and rubberbands she got in her stocking.


I might even brush the bottoms of his feet with peanut butter and let the dog go to town.


Then, we'll put on some Celine Dion and poor his beer down the sink and fill the bottles with hot pink lemonade.


Because anyone who has made it to the age of 37 without ever seeing Dirty Dancing deserves to be tortured.


Don't you think?

Comments

Lisa said…
I do! I do! I LOVE ALL those movies! If the bungie cords don't work alone, you could always throw in a little duct tape, you know, since it wouldn't be child abuse since he is 37! If you live in America, some movies are a must. So unless he wants to be deported, I vote he sits tight for at least one night! lol

ps... the word for "word verification" that I have to type is "stinkbag" ... LOL Just thought I would share that
Nikki said…
Oh, yes... i DO agree! I made Alex watch it. He says it was boring, but I think he was lying.
Anonymous said…
No Dirty Dancing?? I can't even imagine! All of those that you named were my faves, btw.
sandwichinwi said…
Hmmm, I'm in Sim's corner. I hate every one of those movies. Not a chick-flick person, I guess.

Although the peanut-butter/dog thing would be funny to watch.

Blessings,
Sandwich
Kelly said…
Maybe you could balance "baby" with "I feel the need, the need for speed." Show him Top Gun too. We use the baby line ALL the time at our house. Even one of my kids tried it when I sat them in time out - but it didn't work, that baby stayed in the corner.
Recovering Noah said…
Yeah Lisa - come on over! I like the duct tape idea. Hadn't that of that. Might come in handy when he gets mouthy. Might have to use the whole "deportation" threat on him, too. ;-)

Nikki - what? Boring?? Shame on Alex! Fortunately he seems to have serveral redeeming qualities and is really cute, so he's forgiven.

Shara - I know. I know. Come on over anytime for a chick flick fest. I've got Sweet Home Alabama, too.

Oh Sandwich, and to think I thought we were twins separated at birth. It's okay. You're still a really cool chick and maybe we can hang out and watch all the Bourne movies together. Please tell me you at least like those??

Kelly - I actually used that Top Gun line the other day when he was driving like a granny. He's never seen Top Gun either!! Either something is really wrong with him or I just watch way too many movies. ;-)

And high-five to your kids for thinking to use the "Baby" line during timeout. Too funny!!
Anonymous said…
Hey! Don't count me out completely. I've seen Top Gun TWICE, and I even watched that Abba movie in it's entirety (which was no small feat)!! Oh! and for the record I'd much sooner have my dog lick peanut butter off my feet than have to eat it myself... 'Nuf said, now let me get back to my tea + biscuits. Sim.
Recovering Noah said…
What?? You've seen it twice? Then why didn't you know what I was talking about when I said.. "I feel the need, the need for speed.." Hmmmm??

Anyway, it's true. You did sit through Mamma Mia the other night. And you watched Under the Tuscan Sun (although you fell asleep towards the end). And you let me watch The Bachelor last night and you only rolled your eyes twice. Okay, okay. You rock. You totally rock.

Love ya! ;-)

Me
junglemama said…
I love this movie too! So sad all the mdical stuff Patrick is going through now.

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