NOT Me! Monday

It's Monday! Time for MckMama's NOT Me! Monday!

Sim's coming home today! Sim's coming home today! I honestly don't know if I can contain my excitement. Cartwheels! Dancing around the living room! Mad dash to clean the two weeks' worth of coffee mugs and laundry that have accumulated all over the house!

My sweet hubby has NOT been in the UK for the last two weeks with my little boy Eli. They definitely have NOT been stuffing their face with fish and chips and Cadbury's chocolate while experiencing the worst snow that England's had in, oh I don't know, 200 years?

I did NOT gloat about that. NOT even a teeny, tiny bit. Especially not while going for walks with the kids and enjoying the lovely T-shirt and flip-flop weather we've been having.

Nope, NOT me!

And while Sim was away, I did NOT enjoy a fortnight's worth of self-indulged gluttony that included fast food, chick flicks, and a little online shopping.

Nope. Did NOT do that. Did NOT do that at all.

I certainly did NOT turn into a total slob while he was gone - and most certainly did NOT spend the last two weeks feeding my kids a steady supply of mini corn dogs and Hannah Montana Mac-n-Cheese.

Who, me?

I also did NOT watch practically every soppy, tear-inducing, heart-warming film known to man - including, but certainly not limited to, the entire 6 video set of the Love Comes Softly series.

Nope. Certainly did NOT do that!

And my plan of health and fitness and having at least a two-pack by the time Sim got home was NOT foiled by the fact that Nandi's teacher gave me a list of supplies to bring to the Valentine's Day party this Friday. That list did NOT include a package of Oreo cookies and for the first time in my life, I did NOT actually buy something ahead of time instead of waiting until the last minute.

Those Oreo cookies did NOT call out my name on Saturday night and I did NOT sit with Nandi and eat half of that package while watching Love's Unending Legacy. And we most certainly did NOT polish off the other half last night while watching Love's Unfolding Dream.

I'm proud to say that Nandi is now a whopping 27.4 lbs!

And that I am NOT going to have to meet my husband at the airport wearing a baggy T-shirt and the overalls that I save for the one week out of the month that I'm bloated.

Because nothing says, "Hey Baby, I've missed you SO much" like wearing a pair of ragged overalls and an XL Lollapalooza concert shirt from 1992.

And I must NOT have to end this blog post in order to make a mad dash of cleaning before the flight arrives. I do NOT have two bathrooms to clean, overflowing recycling to clear out, a couch that is buried underneath mismatched socks and towels, or cookie crumbs to sweep.

And I definitely do NOT have eyebrows that need to be plucked, hair that needs to be straightened, legs that will most likely need TWO razors, and make-up to dust off and slap on.

Now, if I can just find a safety pin to hold up that overall strap, I'll be good to go.

NOT!