NOT Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Here we go ...

I did NOT buy myself a new pair of Birkenstocks over the weekend.

They are NOT blue. They are NOT gorgeous, and they do NOT look like this...

I did NOT just look at that picture and say to myself, "The woman who bought those shoes has STYLE!"

I am so NOT in love with these new shoes.

I also did NOT feel just a teeny, tiny twinge of guilt for buying my new Birkenstocks - even though I did get them for a steal off of Ebay and they're from Germany and include FREE shipping.

I did NOT just try to justify my purchase by saying that they were a steal off of Ebay, come directly from Germany, and include free shipping.

I also did NOT try to justify buying my new Birks by telling myself that my current ones are NOT being held together by gorilla glue and a piece of duct tape and that I would probably wear these new ones until I'm 65.

I did NOT try to do mental math in my head.

I did NOT then try to do it on paper.

I did NOT then attempt to do it on a calculator.

I did NOT come to the conclusion that if I wear my new shoes every single day and it costs one penny a day to wear them that they will be completely paid off in 11 years.

I am NOT going to tell you how I came to that conclusion in case I'm wrong.

I did NOT say to myself, "Girl... how did you ever pass 3rd grade math?"

I also did NOT say, "... and you plan on homeschooling?"

I did NOT come to the conclusion that it would have been much easier to just admit that my gorgeous new Birks cost just a mere $41.99.

Did I mention that it includes free shipping?

I did NOT feel guilty because I knew that I could have sponsored a child from Uganda for an entire year of education for the price of my new shoes.

I so did NOT then sponsor a child from Uganda for an entire year because I felt guilty for buying a new pair of shoes.

NOT me!

That's right. I did NOT justify buying a new pair shoes by turning around and sponsoring a child from Uganda.

I am such a rational person.

Who?

NOT Me?

I did NOT think.. "My husband's going to kill me when he finds out..."

I did NOT then say... "AARRGH! What am I doing here??"

So I did NOT turn around and buy The Love Dare thinking that if I were to rock my husband's world for 40 days that he would forget that I just bought a new pair of Birkenstocks and sponsored a child from Uganda for an entire year."

Nope, NOT me!

I did NOT casually flip through the pages of the The Love Dare and say to myself...

"AARRGH! What am I doing here??"

Moving on....

I did NOT write a blog post last week titled.. "A Letter to Myself at Twenty."

It should NOT have been titled.. "Oops! Things My Mother Did Not Know....."

And finally,

I did NOT nearly set my parents' RV on fire by attempting to microwave a thing of Easy Mac.. but forgetting to add any water.

It did NOT look like this...

Obviously, my mind was NOT on other things...