Poop, Papertowels, and Being a Princess

Right after Sim woke up this morning to go to work, he stuck his head through the door and said, "Uh, you need to get out here."

What??? It's 5:30 in the morning. On a Saturday. You've got to be kidding.

And then I heard, "Watch your step."

Crap.

No, really. That's all it could be. Literally. Crap.

See, my mom has been sick and is in the hospital and we're keeping her two dogs for the next week or so.

Hmmmph.

I let them out at 11:30 last night, but one of them must've not been feeling good because it was like dodging landmines in our living room. Thank goodness we don't have carpet.

Let's add that to the list of "Let's Look at Noah's Autism with a Glass Half Full."

Toxins. We pulled up all the carpet to minimize toxins and trapped dirt and all that other gross stuff that hides in there.

If we had carpet, I would've been up a creek without a paddle this morning.

Of course, now we're dealing with a whole other set of toxins. But still. Thank goodness for bare floors!

So, anyway. I just sort of stood there in shock for a good five minutes. How do I clean it up? It was plopped all over the place. Like someone had filled a paintball gun full of poo, put a blindfold on, and let loose in our living room.

And we are a paper-free family. We haven't used napkins or paper towels or kleenex in almost a year. Well, except for toilet paper. I did cloth toilet paper for awhile but couldn't come to grips with it.

ha ha

Anyway, I remembered that we had 1/4 of a roll of papertowels left over from the good ol' days - and boy was I thankful. In fact, I am going to make sure that we have a roll of paper towels on hand for emergencies from now on.

And this, my friends, was an emergency. Which brings me to an important side note.

At our Women's Bible Study a few days ago, we were talking about being a child of God and I told them how whenever I've about had it with my day, I always say, "I'm a Princess" over and over again in my head. Because, if we are children of God - who is King of the World - then that makes all us women Princesses.

I read that in a book that I bought at a garage sale for 25 cents.

So, the first time I did this little chant was when I decided to potty-train Noah - not realizing that he had the stomach flu. But I realized quickly. Oh yes. In the toy box. Nasty. Nasty. Nasty. And I remember standing there, saying "I'm a Princess. I'm.A.Princess. At the end of the day, this is just poop. It doesn't matter. I'm a Princess."

And then, as my frustration grew,

"I'M A PRINCESS, DAGNABIT!" (Does anyone outside the South even understand that expression?)

"I'M A FREAKIN' PRINCESS. THIS IS NOTHING. IT'S JUST POOP. I'M. A. PRIIIINNNNCCCCESSSSSSS!!!!"

Yes. I'm aware that I need help.

But, the point is that by the end of it I'm cracking myself up and realizing that really and truly, at the end of the day, it's just poop. It doesn't matter. There's no need to get my panties in a wad. It's poop. Or's it puke. Or it's being tired. Or it's a demanding child. Or it's blah blah blah. It doesn't matter. This world is just temporary. I'm a child of God. I'm A Princess.

So, this morning, after staring at the canine catastrophy that graced my beautiful bamboo floors, I just muttered, "I'm a princess" and I got to work.

And as I was on all fours scrubbing away, I took a minute to reflect on the unusual things that I have to be thankful for... Poop - to keep me grounded. Papertowels - to get me on my knees. And the fact that at the end of the day, nothing can take away the fact that I'm A Princess.

Nothing.