That blasted Christmas Shoes song

Okay, call me a Scrooge. Call me the Grinch. Call me heartless. In fact, call me any name you like... but I cannot stand that annoying Christmas Shoes song. And, along the same lines, I absolutely detest that whole Butterfly Kisses song, too.

I know. I know. Someone take away my Mom Card.

Here's the thing. They are sappy, overly sentimental, and designed specifically to tug at your heartstrings. You know, like things that I normally love. Like Hallmark Card commericals and puppies and KLTY's "Christmas Wishes" that give me rivers of running mascara every morning.

But Christmas Shoes? To me, I just imagine a bunch of songwriters sitting around thinking,

"Hey! Let's write a song about a little boy whose mommy is dying and how he wants to buy her some special shoes before she goes to meet Jesus. Yeah, yeah! And we'll have this scrooge guy get really touched by the little boy and buy the shoes for him. Oooooh, we'll heavily market it and make millions!"

And, then, of course, they go out and do a made for TV movie about it... which I only watched because it had Rob Lowe in it and, you know, he had me at Outsiders. (Back when he was with Melissa Gilbert and way before the whole nanny controversy).

So, anyway, to make a long story even longer, I've always dreaded that song coming on the radio. I knew that without fail, I would hear it at least 3 times a day for an entire month. So, I'd hurriedly switch the radio station to anything else.... which is kinda jarring when you go from listening to Christmas songs all day and suddenly something like, "Drop it low to the flo" comes on.

But I digress.

The point is... I can't stand the song. Being in the perhaps .01% of the population who recognizes it for the smarm it is actually made me proud. I can see through your marketing ploy, you songwriters!

So we get into the car this morning, turn on the radio, and I don't even have to tell you what song they were playing.

Christmas Shoes.

And right when I reached to turn the station, I noticed a familiar emotion welling up inside me. And my eyes started to smart. And a little, tiny lump formed in my throat. And despite everything in me that said, "Stop! Don't cross to the dark side!" I actually listened to the song.... and cried.

AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHH!!!

Now, I'm already a blubbering fool about literally everything, but now I have officially lost the last shread of diginity that I have.... there's no turning back. I am officially, 100% a crybaby.

Hello. My name is Leslie. I have no dignity. I have no shame. I am also currently available for any recordings, commericals, TV shows, or movies that require crying on demand.

So, there you have it. Through clenched teeth, but wet cheeks, I sat and listened to the entire Christmas Shoes song. This is not the first time I've listened to it completely, but it's the first time I cried at it and didn't go into a monologue about all that's wrong with it.

And don't you know that ticked me off.

So, I listened. I cried. And that's the story.

I can't do anything about it, so I'm just going to embrace it.

But I absolutely, positively, 100% will NOT download it.