On the 9th, 10th, and 11th Days of Giving...
First of all, thank you so much for the sweet comments after my last post. They really meant a lot. I know that I am absolutely terrible about responding to comments, but please know that I read each one and that I love getting them. I always have the best intentions of responding, but unless I do it right away then I forget. So I just wanted to thank everyone who's been commenting on the Days of Giving posts. Thank you!
Secondly, wow! Here I thought the Days of Giving were going to be a big life lesson for the kids... had no idea I was the one who was going to learn the lesson.
I think in a lot of ways I feel so out of control with what's going on with the kids. We've tried so many different therapies and all and have seen very little progress in most areas. And I guess I just thought that maybe I could at least teach them to be caring. I have no control over most of their special needs and issues going on, but I wanted to at least "leave my mark" and have them grow into caring people.
But I was just trying too hard and had way too many expectations. I mean, they're just kids and I was expecting them to turn into Mother Theresa overnight. And it was really stressing me out. I mean, the irony is that this was going to be our most simple Christmas ever. The kids are getting one present each from Santa (plus a stocking filled some old fashioned sweets from the Mennonite store) and one present from us. 95% of our gifts for Christmas were bought ages ago - and we bought online. The atmosphere was so laid back this year and then I go and put this enormous amount of pressure on myself and the kids.
I'm such a schlump.
The thing is, looking back on my childhood, my parents never had a 12 Days of Giving. They didn't sponsor orphans from abroad. We didn't go to soup kitchens on Christmas Day. We didn't even do the Angel Tree at the mall. They didn't shove serving others down our throats.
BUT.... what I do remember is that my dad always gave money whenever he saw a homeless person on the side of the road. And he always gave gas money if someone approached him at the gas station. And my mom was a caregiver for every single elderly person she met. She was always dragging us here and there to drop off homemade treats and baskets and such. And you know what? They never gave us a lecture on it - on how important it is to give. They certainly didn't scrapbook about it or journal it or write down every good deed in a diary. They just quietly did it because that's what you do. And my brother and I watched them do it over the years and it just became normal.
It became something you just do because it's just normal to help others.
And my kids will probably learn to become givers because that's what they'll see their parents do.
(I hope they also don't become grammatically incompetent because that's what how their mom is - yikes!).
I'm not a scrapbooker. I love the idea of it, but I don't have the supplies. I don't have the tools. I don't have the money. And I was putting so much pressure on myself to capture each giving day on a scrapbook page and it was ridiculous. I'm a perfectionist and it was killing me that I didn't know what I was doing. And I was in a bad mood and I dreaded taking photos and I dreaded blogging and I was just a grumpy, grumpy person to be around.
So I took the last few days off (from blogging, not giving) and it has been wonderful! We still gave, but the pressure was off and I just spent a lot of time hanging out with the kids. Eli said, "Wow, Mom, you're becoming strong! Your good mood is getting strong and you're becoming fun to play with. Hey, you're almost as fun as Daddy!".
That says it all, doesn't it? That my kids need ME, not a saint. (Oh, and to you RAD parents, did you notice the wording Eli used? How Nancy Thomas is that?! lol)
Anyway, regarding the Days of Giving....
On the 9th Day, Monday, we went to our local library and donated the children's book Listen to the Wind by Greg Mortenson. He's the same guy who wrote Three Cups of Tea and this is the children's version. We also bought paper towels and copier paper to give them. The librarians were shocked. One lady said, "Did you know that we're plumb out of copy paper?!" It was a great moment....
And then Nandi leaned over, grabbed herself, and started screaming, "I have to poopoo! I have to poopoo! Mommy, I have to poop!"
It was... uh.... nasty. Turns out little Miss N has come down with a stomach virus. In the library.
Next on the library giving list.... toilet paper.
(Never a dull moment, eh?)
For the 10th day of giving, we gave fruit and nut baskets to our neighbors. I saw similar baskets for $16.00 at Walmart and they only had a couple of pieces of fruit in them. So, we bought some baskets at Dollar Tree (oh how I love you, Dollar Tree), along with basket bags and ribbon and then comped some fruit at Walmart.
Do you know about comping? That Walmart will match any competitor's price on the same item? We get tons of cheap things that way - ex: 8 avocados for a $1!! Anyway, we comped fruit and then CVS has Planter's mixed nuts on sale 2/$5 and then the kids made some more white chocolate peppermint bark and we put a bag of that in, too. It ended up costing about $7 per basket, but they turned out much fuller and nicer ( and cheaper!) than the ones in the store.
And today, for the 11th Day of Giving, we're driving to Dallas for a doctor's appt, but making a stop off at a friend's house and delivering a basket of wine, cheeses, fruit, and chocolates for a family that recently moved to the U.S.
Several years ago, when I was working in International Education, we had a 18 year old student from Uzbekistan live with us. She stayed for almost 3 years and then found a place of her own. Eventually, she graduated and went on to a really nice job in the Dallas area. Her sister came over and did her undergrad and graduate degrees, and now, a few months ago, her parents came over. Even though Liza was our "adopted daughter" for many years, we rarely get to see her anymore. We're all so busy now. So, the kids and I are bringing a basket over to her house this afternoon. She'll be at work, but her parents will be there and my kids will get to practice a few words in Russian and gets lots of hugs and pats on the heads. I'm looking forward to seeing them.
I have no idea what's planned for tomorrow. But I'm realizing that maybe the best gifts aren't really planned at all. Like when Eli noticed that someone waved at us when we let them pass us on the highway. Or how he commented on the fact that I let an elderly women in front of me at Walmart.
I certainly didn't scrapbook about it or even comment on it at all. He just happened to notice.... much in the same way that I used to notice my mom and dad when they did things like that when I was a kid.
Funny how that works....
Happy 11th Day of Giving!
Secondly, wow! Here I thought the Days of Giving were going to be a big life lesson for the kids... had no idea I was the one who was going to learn the lesson.
I think in a lot of ways I feel so out of control with what's going on with the kids. We've tried so many different therapies and all and have seen very little progress in most areas. And I guess I just thought that maybe I could at least teach them to be caring. I have no control over most of their special needs and issues going on, but I wanted to at least "leave my mark" and have them grow into caring people.
But I was just trying too hard and had way too many expectations. I mean, they're just kids and I was expecting them to turn into Mother Theresa overnight. And it was really stressing me out. I mean, the irony is that this was going to be our most simple Christmas ever. The kids are getting one present each from Santa (plus a stocking filled some old fashioned sweets from the Mennonite store) and one present from us. 95% of our gifts for Christmas were bought ages ago - and we bought online. The atmosphere was so laid back this year and then I go and put this enormous amount of pressure on myself and the kids.
I'm such a schlump.
The thing is, looking back on my childhood, my parents never had a 12 Days of Giving. They didn't sponsor orphans from abroad. We didn't go to soup kitchens on Christmas Day. We didn't even do the Angel Tree at the mall. They didn't shove serving others down our throats.
BUT.... what I do remember is that my dad always gave money whenever he saw a homeless person on the side of the road. And he always gave gas money if someone approached him at the gas station. And my mom was a caregiver for every single elderly person she met. She was always dragging us here and there to drop off homemade treats and baskets and such. And you know what? They never gave us a lecture on it - on how important it is to give. They certainly didn't scrapbook about it or journal it or write down every good deed in a diary. They just quietly did it because that's what you do. And my brother and I watched them do it over the years and it just became normal.
It became something you just do because it's just normal to help others.
And my kids will probably learn to become givers because that's what they'll see their parents do.
(I hope they also don't become grammatically incompetent because that's what how their mom is - yikes!).
I'm not a scrapbooker. I love the idea of it, but I don't have the supplies. I don't have the tools. I don't have the money. And I was putting so much pressure on myself to capture each giving day on a scrapbook page and it was ridiculous. I'm a perfectionist and it was killing me that I didn't know what I was doing. And I was in a bad mood and I dreaded taking photos and I dreaded blogging and I was just a grumpy, grumpy person to be around.
So I took the last few days off (from blogging, not giving) and it has been wonderful! We still gave, but the pressure was off and I just spent a lot of time hanging out with the kids. Eli said, "Wow, Mom, you're becoming strong! Your good mood is getting strong and you're becoming fun to play with. Hey, you're almost as fun as Daddy!".
That says it all, doesn't it? That my kids need ME, not a saint. (Oh, and to you RAD parents, did you notice the wording Eli used? How Nancy Thomas is that?! lol)
Anyway, regarding the Days of Giving....
On the 9th Day, Monday, we went to our local library and donated the children's book Listen to the Wind by Greg Mortenson. He's the same guy who wrote Three Cups of Tea and this is the children's version. We also bought paper towels and copier paper to give them. The librarians were shocked. One lady said, "Did you know that we're plumb out of copy paper?!" It was a great moment....
And then Nandi leaned over, grabbed herself, and started screaming, "I have to poopoo! I have to poopoo! Mommy, I have to poop!"
It was... uh.... nasty. Turns out little Miss N has come down with a stomach virus. In the library.
Next on the library giving list.... toilet paper.
(Never a dull moment, eh?)
For the 10th day of giving, we gave fruit and nut baskets to our neighbors. I saw similar baskets for $16.00 at Walmart and they only had a couple of pieces of fruit in them. So, we bought some baskets at Dollar Tree (oh how I love you, Dollar Tree), along with basket bags and ribbon and then comped some fruit at Walmart.
Do you know about comping? That Walmart will match any competitor's price on the same item? We get tons of cheap things that way - ex: 8 avocados for a $1!! Anyway, we comped fruit and then CVS has Planter's mixed nuts on sale 2/$5 and then the kids made some more white chocolate peppermint bark and we put a bag of that in, too. It ended up costing about $7 per basket, but they turned out much fuller and nicer ( and cheaper!) than the ones in the store.
And today, for the 11th Day of Giving, we're driving to Dallas for a doctor's appt, but making a stop off at a friend's house and delivering a basket of wine, cheeses, fruit, and chocolates for a family that recently moved to the U.S.
Several years ago, when I was working in International Education, we had a 18 year old student from Uzbekistan live with us. She stayed for almost 3 years and then found a place of her own. Eventually, she graduated and went on to a really nice job in the Dallas area. Her sister came over and did her undergrad and graduate degrees, and now, a few months ago, her parents came over. Even though Liza was our "adopted daughter" for many years, we rarely get to see her anymore. We're all so busy now. So, the kids and I are bringing a basket over to her house this afternoon. She'll be at work, but her parents will be there and my kids will get to practice a few words in Russian and gets lots of hugs and pats on the heads. I'm looking forward to seeing them.
I have no idea what's planned for tomorrow. But I'm realizing that maybe the best gifts aren't really planned at all. Like when Eli noticed that someone waved at us when we let them pass us on the highway. Or how he commented on the fact that I let an elderly women in front of me at Walmart.
I certainly didn't scrapbook about it or even comment on it at all. He just happened to notice.... much in the same way that I used to notice my mom and dad when they did things like that when I was a kid.
Funny how that works....
Happy 11th Day of Giving!
Comments
love that Eli!
Awesome new approach! :)
<3 Sneha
When do you leave for SCH??