Labels, Labels, Labels

Do any of you have any info on Expressive-Receptive Language Disorder?

We received Eli's neuropsych report back and, in addition to a few other things, this is one of the disorders that he's been diagnosed with. Apparently it's not normal for a child to be able to remember every minute detail of something that happened when he was two or be able to use the words impeccable, delectable, or persevere correctly in a sentence but NOT be able to find the words to describe a purple circle or know the opposite for the word stop or no.

I guess that would be considered a bit odd.

Asperger's was ruled out - yeah! Although they were quick to point out that there were many similarities and that they could easily give him the diagnosis if he needed it.

Uh, thanks, but no thanks.

Also, one of the things that disappointed me is that they gave Eli an IQ test. Well, if you have a language disorder or a learning disability, how can you test accurately? Eli scored in the low IQ range - and, therefore, was also diagnosed with a Cognitive Disorder.

Everyone knows that's just a PC way of saying "mentally retarded".

And I'm so glad they don't call it that anymore because it makes me cringe to hear it. My biggest pet peeve is when people say "Oh, that's so retarded" or "Don't be retarded." Ugh. If I ever suddenly smack you upside the head, it's most likely because you let that word slip out in conversation.

But, the truth is, it DOES have negative connotations and to be told that Eli is MR - or Cognitively Disabled - geez, that's just mind boggling. It's crap is what it is.

I refuse to let my mind go there. He's such a smart kid. He just learns differently.

Oh, and they also think he has dysgraphia. And some other things. I don't know. I've got a lot of research to do.

But here's the thing. In 20 years is it really going to matter if you can't write correctly? Won't everything be done on a keyboard anyway? Who cares if math is hard. That's why God invented the calculator. And if you can't remember something automatically... hello! G-O-O-G-L-E.

But to put him in an MR range and give him that diagnosis because he can't test the way other 5 year olds do? That's just plain nonsense.

Okay, okay. I DID want the neuropsych done. And now I'm complaining about what it said. It's kind of hypocritical isn't it?

I'm angry because it shows me how the system works. If you can't complete a standard IQ test then you must be dumb. A slow learner. But it takes NO consideration that not every child learns the same. I took some of those same IQ questions and reworded them for Eli and he answered every one of them. But because he couldn't answer it they way the test had it worded... well, then he's got a low IQ.

That's what frustrates me. It is so ridiculous! The kid can tell you every continent. Knows the capital of Ethiopia. Can name half the unpronounceable villages in Wales... but has a low IQ?

Puh-leeze.

Yes, learning is going to be hard for him. He's going to require a lot of hands-on learning. He learns and retains from having actual, real-life experiences. It IS going to be a challenge. Math will be a challenge. Reading will be a challenge. Writing will be a challenge. Memory retention will be a challenge. We're going to have to be really creative with his learning and his education....

But I would bet my life - and it's that whole Mother's instinct thing - that this kid is going to prove them wrong. I can feel it in my bones. In my soul. In everything I have. This label does not mean anything. It's hogwash. A bunch of phooey. Nonsense.

Will it be hard? Yeah, definitely. Impossible, no.

So there you have it. On one hand, I'm angry about it. But on the other hand, relieved. In a weird way it's good to put a name to it because it gives us a starting point. We have a better idea of how Eli learns now and we also know that some things are just really difficult for him. I used to think he was being lazy or just pulling my leg when he would say that he couldn't dress himself. Now I know that it's really hard for him to coordinate himself correctly. It would frustrate me when he would get dressed and his entire outfit would be on inside out and backwards. But knowing that maybe there's something neurologically going on helps me to be more patient with him... and to help him through it.

Now that we know what's going on, we can help him learn the way HE learns. The way HE learns best. Not the way some textbook says he has to learn or the way a bunch of professionals have deemed the most appropriate way to learn. But the way HE learns.

So if anyone has any suggestions or websites or blogs that you can point me to... well, point away, please.

And if anyone knows of a school likes THIS ONE that exists in Texas and will not require me to sell a kidney or prostitute myself in order to pay for tuition, I'd be much obliged.

Or if anyone wants to help start a school..... now that would be really cool.