Trippin' Down Memory Lane

I have a terrible habit of thinking that I look younger than I am. You see, inside, I still feel like I'm 19 years old - but the face in the mirror? Well, she looks a lot older.


I will see people my age and think, "Wow. Is that what 35 looks like? Surely, I don't look like that?"


And Sim, being the sweet, wonderful liar that he is, always says, "No, you look a lot younger."


That's why we're still together.


I love that after all these years, he's still a compulsive liar who will flatter me with complete untruths..

Forget all that "I like a man with a sense of humor nonsense." I like a guy who tells me I look great even when I clearly don't.


Take note, guys. That'll get you right to the heart of a woman.


Anyway, last night we were watching Dancing With the Starts and Warren Sapp and his partner, Kym came on. Now, she's a really pretty girl. But I think she looks older than me.


In fact, she's 3 years younger.


And why this even matters in the grand scheme of life is completely unclear, but all I know is that last night at 8:24 pm, it clearly mattered to me.


So I ask Sim... "How old do you think she looks?"


Sim: "Uh, a LOT older than you."

Me: "She's three years younger than me. Can you believe it? Do I look that old?"


And just for a split second - right before he lied and said, "No, you still look like you're in your twenties", I saw a look of pure honesty in his face and it said, "Heck, yeah!"


I was crushed.


Mind you. He didn't actually say it, but I know that he was thinking that I'm a right old cow with wrinkles across her forehead and jowls that could rival a houndog's.


I am very good at reading between the lines.


And those lines... SUCKED! Just like the ones across my forehead.


So, I decided to do whatever I do when I get down and depressed. I cleaned.


Some of you may think if that's the case then I should be living in a house that's fresh and sparkly all the time. But if you've dropped by lately then you know it's simply not true.


But I set out cleaning and started with the closet. And do you know that I came across?


Pictures of when I was 20. Pictures of when I first met Sim. Really, cool pictures that took me down on a fun-lived trip down memory lane.


And you know what? I sure don't look 19 anymore. The pictures were proof.


I truly have turned into a 35 year old mother of three.


My eyes have started to sag. My neck is sagging. Shoot, I didn't even know boobs my size could sag, but apparently gravity doesn't play favorites.


I have aged. Sagged and aged.


I ran into an ex-boyfriend's mother a few years ago and she told me that even though she is now in her 60's, she still feels 21. And that she is still shocked when she looks in the mirror each morning and sees the face staring back at her.


You know what they say. You are only as old as you feel.


In that case, I should be dead.


But, no, really. It's all a state of mind isn't it?


So, the next time you see me and I have no make-up on, and the days events are etched on my face and you spot the gray that's appeared in my hair - just know that inside is a vivacious, young (and skinny) 19 year old who still loves to listen to The Cure and Pearl Jam and U2 and who slow dances with her 22 year old boyfriend (who is really her 37 year old husband) barefoot in the kitchen.


And feel free to lie to me anytime you want. :-) You'll become a favorite of mine.