We made a decision (about school)
For some reason, I just haven't been motivated to blog lately. At night, when I'm having trouble sleeping, I end up constructing all sorts of wonderful blog entries in my head. Then, when I wake up, I have no desire to type them up. I have become incredibly lazy. I. Am. Lazy....
which might horrify some people, then, when I announce that we have decided to homeschool. That's right. We are now homeschoolers.
If I had posted this last Monday when we came to the decision, my blog would have been punctuated with all sorts of exclamation marks and "yea! whoo hoo!". But, honestly, all I've wanted to do this past week is just throw up. See... now we've made a decision. The decision is over. I notified his teacher. I'm ready to send the district our "Intent to Homeschool" letter. The hard part - so I thought - is done. Now, though, I'm faced with the fact that it is my sole responsibility to educate my children. Their brain is officially in my hands. I can't hand them off to a teacher for 7-8 hours a day... and then blame the teacher if it turns out they can't read or can't do long division. (Do they even do long division anymore? Isn't there some sort of "new" math or something?). I can't even write a grammatically correct sentence - and I have a Master's in Linguistics. What on earth have I done????
Sigh. I know God has led us to make this decision. That, I am 100% certain of. I do have an utterly cool story to tell about that... but will save it to later. I'll let the weight of our decision to homeschool settle first. But, I do know that God is leading us to this. I also know that God probably does not want the kids to be 38 years old and not know how to read... so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to teach them how... some day. Anyway, it's definitely God's plan for our family, but I still feel sick about it.
I emailed Noah's teacher last week. She finally checked her email and replied on Monday.
You know, it would have been MUCH easier if she'd just been a real cow about it. She could've given me just a teeny, tiny bit of nastiness so that I could print the email off, wave it triumphantly in the air and proclaim, "A-ha! See! I knew I made the right decision!". And then I could sweep Noah in my arms and tell him how that nasty teacher would never hurt him again.
But the truth is... she's totally lovely. She genuinely cares about him - and from her email, I knew she was really going to miss him. She even said she wants to remain a part of his life. So, now, I'm faced with the fact that I took Noah away from Ms. Teacher of the Year. She is so awesome. The truth, though, is that he only had one more year with her and then he would be transferred to Life Skills. Also, no matter how much she loves him, she doesn't love him more than me. I still feel guilty, though.
So.. .basically, since the decision was made, every single bit of insecurity that I have ever, ever, ever had (and there are truckloads of them) has resurfaced and made me doubt our decision. That is one big ton of weight to carry around. Anyway, last week, I decided to shake off those insecurities and went to our local homeschool bookstore. There were quite a few moms there, so I decided to act like I knew what I was talking about, and it became painfully aware after about 10 seconds that I don't know squat about homeschooling. But no one laughed at me or rolled their eyes, so I left with my dignity intact.... until we got home. I unbuckled Eli from his car seat and noticed that he didn't have his shorts on. I think that all of the blood drained from my place. "Eli, please tell me that you took your shorts off at the bookstore", I pleaded with him. Poor, sweet, Eli. He decided to lie in order to save Mommy's self-esteem. He told me that he did take them off and leave them.. but that story quickly fell apart when I went into the bathroom and saw them laying in the floor.
That's right. I sent my son off in public wearing a T-shirt, sandals... and his Cars underwear.
What kind of mother am I? How on earth am I going to teach him the intricacies of grammar and physics and world geography when I can't teach him that you can't go out in public in your skivvies???? On the brightside, at least he had his underwear on. He has a tendency to run around the house completely starkers. Now, THAT would have been embarrassing. The point is, though, that I didn't even notice that he wasn't wearing shorts. And I think I can educate him??
The decision has been made, though. There's no turning back. I've got 4 weeks to get my act together. It'll be fine. I think I'm just going through 1st year/pre-homeschool jitters. Noah's doing great, btw. I'm doing the RPM with him daily. He told me that he wants to take piano lessons, so I ordered a piano number book from pianoiseasy.com. I'll incorporate that into his math lesson, I think. He also told me that we learn about Jesus at church - and then smiled when he handed me the Jesus card. Ohh! And someone directed me to a really cool Bible based education site that actually has lesson plans and crosswords and really cool stuff. http://children.calvarychapel.com/site/curriculum.htm . They have lessons available in English and Spanish. It may be old news to most of you, but I just learned about it.
Anyway, I know there will be good days and bad days - just like the boys would have if they were in school. It'll be fine. Deep breath. Deep breath.
I've got some new photos of the boys to post later. So check back and you can "ooh" and "ahh" over how handsome they are. (How's that for a proud mother?).
Take care,
Noah's Mom
which might horrify some people, then, when I announce that we have decided to homeschool. That's right. We are now homeschoolers.
If I had posted this last Monday when we came to the decision, my blog would have been punctuated with all sorts of exclamation marks and "yea! whoo hoo!". But, honestly, all I've wanted to do this past week is just throw up. See... now we've made a decision. The decision is over. I notified his teacher. I'm ready to send the district our "Intent to Homeschool" letter. The hard part - so I thought - is done. Now, though, I'm faced with the fact that it is my sole responsibility to educate my children. Their brain is officially in my hands. I can't hand them off to a teacher for 7-8 hours a day... and then blame the teacher if it turns out they can't read or can't do long division. (Do they even do long division anymore? Isn't there some sort of "new" math or something?). I can't even write a grammatically correct sentence - and I have a Master's in Linguistics. What on earth have I done????
Sigh. I know God has led us to make this decision. That, I am 100% certain of. I do have an utterly cool story to tell about that... but will save it to later. I'll let the weight of our decision to homeschool settle first. But, I do know that God is leading us to this. I also know that God probably does not want the kids to be 38 years old and not know how to read... so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to teach them how... some day. Anyway, it's definitely God's plan for our family, but I still feel sick about it.
I emailed Noah's teacher last week. She finally checked her email and replied on Monday.
You know, it would have been MUCH easier if she'd just been a real cow about it. She could've given me just a teeny, tiny bit of nastiness so that I could print the email off, wave it triumphantly in the air and proclaim, "A-ha! See! I knew I made the right decision!". And then I could sweep Noah in my arms and tell him how that nasty teacher would never hurt him again.
But the truth is... she's totally lovely. She genuinely cares about him - and from her email, I knew she was really going to miss him. She even said she wants to remain a part of his life. So, now, I'm faced with the fact that I took Noah away from Ms. Teacher of the Year. She is so awesome. The truth, though, is that he only had one more year with her and then he would be transferred to Life Skills. Also, no matter how much she loves him, she doesn't love him more than me. I still feel guilty, though.
So.. .basically, since the decision was made, every single bit of insecurity that I have ever, ever, ever had (and there are truckloads of them) has resurfaced and made me doubt our decision. That is one big ton of weight to carry around. Anyway, last week, I decided to shake off those insecurities and went to our local homeschool bookstore. There were quite a few moms there, so I decided to act like I knew what I was talking about, and it became painfully aware after about 10 seconds that I don't know squat about homeschooling. But no one laughed at me or rolled their eyes, so I left with my dignity intact.... until we got home. I unbuckled Eli from his car seat and noticed that he didn't have his shorts on. I think that all of the blood drained from my place. "Eli, please tell me that you took your shorts off at the bookstore", I pleaded with him. Poor, sweet, Eli. He decided to lie in order to save Mommy's self-esteem. He told me that he did take them off and leave them.. but that story quickly fell apart when I went into the bathroom and saw them laying in the floor.
That's right. I sent my son off in public wearing a T-shirt, sandals... and his Cars underwear.
What kind of mother am I? How on earth am I going to teach him the intricacies of grammar and physics and world geography when I can't teach him that you can't go out in public in your skivvies???? On the brightside, at least he had his underwear on. He has a tendency to run around the house completely starkers. Now, THAT would have been embarrassing. The point is, though, that I didn't even notice that he wasn't wearing shorts. And I think I can educate him??
The decision has been made, though. There's no turning back. I've got 4 weeks to get my act together. It'll be fine. I think I'm just going through 1st year/pre-homeschool jitters. Noah's doing great, btw. I'm doing the RPM with him daily. He told me that he wants to take piano lessons, so I ordered a piano number book from pianoiseasy.com. I'll incorporate that into his math lesson, I think. He also told me that we learn about Jesus at church - and then smiled when he handed me the Jesus card. Ohh! And someone directed me to a really cool Bible based education site that actually has lesson plans and crosswords and really cool stuff. http://children.calvarychapel.com/site/curriculum.htm . They have lessons available in English and Spanish. It may be old news to most of you, but I just learned about it.
Anyway, I know there will be good days and bad days - just like the boys would have if they were in school. It'll be fine. Deep breath. Deep breath.
I've got some new photos of the boys to post later. So check back and you can "ooh" and "ahh" over how handsome they are. (How's that for a proud mother?).
Take care,
Noah's Mom
Comments
Don't worry...we're both in the same boat. I sat down to begin lesson plans recently and realized that it is really a hard job to do. Wanting each subject to be challenging, yet interesting and creative, I realize that it's going to take lots of work on my part. I'm personally looking forward to coop where hopefully I can gain some knowledge from the other experienced parents!
I love that Noah is interested in piano! Craig is also going to be taking piano. Maybe they can do a recital together someday?!
I have found that I am learning as much as my girls. I just completed the 2nd grade for the fourth time! You are going to do a great job. What God calls us to do He also equips us to do.
I think the story of Eli is the funniest thing I've ever heard!!!
Send it into Readers Digest. I'm sure they would pay to print it!