Seeing Naveen - Sandwich's Thoughts
FRIDAY, APRIL 27, 2012
Friday, Pune--Meeting Naveen
Friday--Pune
It's late but I should blog or I'll forget everything.
We slept all night until we woke up at the same time--6:20. Still no Internet, which was good for all night sleeping!
Shower and then breakfast downstairs. They have the best breakfasts here!
We went out to our "Walmart" around the corner where yesterday we bought a razor for Leslie and parle-g biscuits in preparation for Naveen. Today we went in search of a bath bucket. The hotel only has a shower, no buckets. We bought the dustiest bucket, stool and cup you've ever seen along with a bag of milk.
We felt guilty sneaking our purchases into the hotel. We wondered what they'd think if they saw us bringing in a bucket and stool!
I went through Leslie's suitcase and reorganized everything in preparation for Naveen. We picked out an outfit and got his shoes and a diaper. She was too overwhelmed with nervousness to think straight and do any more.
We caught an autorickshaw and arrived at ****. Leslie went up to ****'s office for the "talk" and I was sent in with the big kids who were lined up for "prayers.". I'd never seen this before so it was really interesting to see this bit of their life. Naveen was brought in for this as it was a special day. He came right over to me and gave me a long stare before playing with my purse. They were telling him Mommy was there and obviously he didn't see her as she was upstairs, but I think he recognized me.
Next they put on shoes and we went out. He played mostly alone. I was given a big talk about not taking photos of children except for his album, so except for one instance before I got yelled at, all the photos have Naveen in them, for his album ;). Unless I was very surepticious. Too tired to fix that. Where's auto-correct when you really want it?
Anyway, he mostly played alone while we waited an hour for Leslie to come down.
He first wouldn't go to her but when all the others were in her lap, then he was all,"MY mommy!!"
He alternated really warm and huggy with stony moments. You could tell he KNEW this was something big today.
But he is very smiley, very loving, VERY bright. He watches everything and doesn't miss anything. Both his gross and fine motor are excellent! He can string little beads like anything! He definitely knew she was Mommy--he even pointed to her when someone asked where Mommy was. He's a great eater and feeds himself. He drinks water like crazy-they said he is always thirsty and it's good for his kidneys to drink a lot. He makes the cutest facial expressions and he's quite the imp. He tilts his little head and checks to see if you saw what he did, but he was able to be distracted when he got too naughty.
After lunch they went potty and then he played with Leslie a bit more. I stayed back all day taking pictures and talking to him from afar. I am "Aunty.". He loved the shoes I bought him. When she pulled them out, he stuck his foot right out for her to put them on!
He said no to a nap, but eventually someone drew him away and we had lunch upstairs. There s another family there who went to court for their daughter today.
After lunch, I took an auto (that's a rickshaw) back to the hotel all by myself as I'd or gotten the extra camera battery AND *****'s tshirt. I negotiated with two different drivers and then directed the winning driver down the wrong lane, then down the right lane and all the way to our hotel. I'm sure he thought I was an idiot, not knowing my lane. Anyway, I got him to WAIT for me while I ran in (pretty proud of that) and then take me back to ****.
I hung out in an empty room while Naveen napped and Leslie was getting his medical files.
After his nap he got changed into new clothes and had some milk. He'd been getting sadder and sadder as the day went on. We went to the school room for the ceremony and his face drooped more and more. At one point he was trying not to cry. I remember that very same look on Martands face the day we picked him up. It's heartbreaking!
All the kids came in for his ceremony. Two little boys from his class he met at the door and took their hand while he walked them to their seat. He is so sweet and they said he is very good with the younger children. He also had his picture with a big girl who was hanging around "helping" him all day.
They performed the blessing ceremony and gave him a dish of chocolates--like tootsie roll caramels--to hand out. Then we had to go up through all the offices to say god bye to the staff. I don't remember doing that. We both thought the day got really drawn out She also got a gold BSSK coin in a velvet bag. I'm sure I didn't get one of those!
Finally we went to the gate where the watchman blew his whistle to call an auto for us. In the auto, Naveen cried for the first time.
In the room, he played solemnly with some toys, and finding everything to be under control, I went out to the tailor to get my bag fixed again and the, ahem, inner seam of Leslie's bad market pants sewn up. 20 Rs. I also took some time to get connected in the lobby to the Net and send out my emails. There was a really angry German there demanding (in India! Just think!) to know EXACTLY WHEN the Internet would work in his room. I found out from him that it had been working until two days ago and let him know which connection was working. Actually, I'm pretty sure God shut it off just for us so we (read:Leslie) could sleep. It worked for the first two seconds we were in our room Thursday, and then it died.
So when I got back from my errands, Naveen was sobbing and pointing at the door to go out. Leslie was never so glad to see me. So, the scoop on this (and Leslie agrees) is that it's great that he's grieving now. She tried everything to distract him and comfort him, from toys to books to food to games and he just cried on. All she could provide after that was her presence and her love, which he accepts. He lets her hold him, he comes to her with his arms up (he really wants her to take him back but when she tells him sadly "No" he cries, but in her arms. ). We ordered some food for him that he wouldn't eat (rice and dal) but he did eat some of the gulab jamun ***** sent along. He loves his sweets!
He did let me pick him up and walk him a bit. He doesn't hate me at least. And he stopped crying for a minute when Crazy Aunty set up the empty water bottles and used his ball for bowling! I think leslie said he bit her once when I was gone, but other than that, I've only seen sadness, not real anger. I told her he reminds me of the way kids are when they are new at daycare. So I think he's going to be fine. She's so good with him!
She had bought him a steel cup like they are used to and let him drink his water from it at ****. **** predicted, rightly, that his would be his comfort item. He asked for it with "pani" water over and over. After 3 hours of crying, he lay down on the bed and let her pat him to sleep
Oh, and he went potty on the toilet when she put him on. He's so smart!
At 7:30 she and I ordered room service. The food is really good here, and not too expensive, when you consider the hassle of going out.
So, bedtime now. Hopefully I won't regret staying up to post this when our boy wakes up at 3am!
Friday, Pune--Meeting Naveen
Friday--Pune
It's late but I should blog or I'll forget everything.
We slept all night until we woke up at the same time--6:20. Still no Internet, which was good for all night sleeping!
Shower and then breakfast downstairs. They have the best breakfasts here!
We went out to our "Walmart" around the corner where yesterday we bought a razor for Leslie and parle-g biscuits in preparation for Naveen. Today we went in search of a bath bucket. The hotel only has a shower, no buckets. We bought the dustiest bucket, stool and cup you've ever seen along with a bag of milk.
We felt guilty sneaking our purchases into the hotel. We wondered what they'd think if they saw us bringing in a bucket and stool!
I went through Leslie's suitcase and reorganized everything in preparation for Naveen. We picked out an outfit and got his shoes and a diaper. She was too overwhelmed with nervousness to think straight and do any more.
We caught an autorickshaw and arrived at ****. Leslie went up to ****'s office for the "talk" and I was sent in with the big kids who were lined up for "prayers.". I'd never seen this before so it was really interesting to see this bit of their life. Naveen was brought in for this as it was a special day. He came right over to me and gave me a long stare before playing with my purse. They were telling him Mommy was there and obviously he didn't see her as she was upstairs, but I think he recognized me.
Next they put on shoes and we went out. He played mostly alone. I was given a big talk about not taking photos of children except for his album, so except for one instance before I got yelled at, all the photos have Naveen in them, for his album ;). Unless I was very surepticious. Too tired to fix that. Where's auto-correct when you really want it?
Anyway, he mostly played alone while we waited an hour for Leslie to come down.
He first wouldn't go to her but when all the others were in her lap, then he was all,"MY mommy!!"
He alternated really warm and huggy with stony moments. You could tell he KNEW this was something big today.
But he is very smiley, very loving, VERY bright. He watches everything and doesn't miss anything. Both his gross and fine motor are excellent! He can string little beads like anything! He definitely knew she was Mommy--he even pointed to her when someone asked where Mommy was. He's a great eater and feeds himself. He drinks water like crazy-they said he is always thirsty and it's good for his kidneys to drink a lot. He makes the cutest facial expressions and he's quite the imp. He tilts his little head and checks to see if you saw what he did, but he was able to be distracted when he got too naughty.
After lunch they went potty and then he played with Leslie a bit more. I stayed back all day taking pictures and talking to him from afar. I am "Aunty.". He loved the shoes I bought him. When she pulled them out, he stuck his foot right out for her to put them on!
He said no to a nap, but eventually someone drew him away and we had lunch upstairs. There s another family there who went to court for their daughter today.
After lunch, I took an auto (that's a rickshaw) back to the hotel all by myself as I'd or gotten the extra camera battery AND *****'s tshirt. I negotiated with two different drivers and then directed the winning driver down the wrong lane, then down the right lane and all the way to our hotel. I'm sure he thought I was an idiot, not knowing my lane. Anyway, I got him to WAIT for me while I ran in (pretty proud of that) and then take me back to ****.
I hung out in an empty room while Naveen napped and Leslie was getting his medical files.
After his nap he got changed into new clothes and had some milk. He'd been getting sadder and sadder as the day went on. We went to the school room for the ceremony and his face drooped more and more. At one point he was trying not to cry. I remember that very same look on Martands face the day we picked him up. It's heartbreaking!
All the kids came in for his ceremony. Two little boys from his class he met at the door and took their hand while he walked them to their seat. He is so sweet and they said he is very good with the younger children. He also had his picture with a big girl who was hanging around "helping" him all day.
They performed the blessing ceremony and gave him a dish of chocolates--like tootsie roll caramels--to hand out. Then we had to go up through all the offices to say god bye to the staff. I don't remember doing that. We both thought the day got really drawn out She also got a gold BSSK coin in a velvet bag. I'm sure I didn't get one of those!
Finally we went to the gate where the watchman blew his whistle to call an auto for us. In the auto, Naveen cried for the first time.
In the room, he played solemnly with some toys, and finding everything to be under control, I went out to the tailor to get my bag fixed again and the, ahem, inner seam of Leslie's bad market pants sewn up. 20 Rs. I also took some time to get connected in the lobby to the Net and send out my emails. There was a really angry German there demanding (in India! Just think!) to know EXACTLY WHEN the Internet would work in his room. I found out from him that it had been working until two days ago and let him know which connection was working. Actually, I'm pretty sure God shut it off just for us so we (read:Leslie) could sleep. It worked for the first two seconds we were in our room Thursday, and then it died.
So when I got back from my errands, Naveen was sobbing and pointing at the door to go out. Leslie was never so glad to see me. So, the scoop on this (and Leslie agrees) is that it's great that he's grieving now. She tried everything to distract him and comfort him, from toys to books to food to games and he just cried on. All she could provide after that was her presence and her love, which he accepts. He lets her hold him, he comes to her with his arms up (he really wants her to take him back but when she tells him sadly "No" he cries, but in her arms. ). We ordered some food for him that he wouldn't eat (rice and dal) but he did eat some of the gulab jamun ***** sent along. He loves his sweets!
He did let me pick him up and walk him a bit. He doesn't hate me at least. And he stopped crying for a minute when Crazy Aunty set up the empty water bottles and used his ball for bowling! I think leslie said he bit her once when I was gone, but other than that, I've only seen sadness, not real anger. I told her he reminds me of the way kids are when they are new at daycare. So I think he's going to be fine. She's so good with him!
She had bought him a steel cup like they are used to and let him drink his water from it at ****. **** predicted, rightly, that his would be his comfort item. He asked for it with "pani" water over and over. After 3 hours of crying, he lay down on the bed and let her pat him to sleep
Oh, and he went potty on the toilet when she put him on. He's so smart!
At 7:30 she and I ordered room service. The food is really good here, and not too expensive, when you consider the hassle of going out.
So, bedtime now. Hopefully I won't regret staying up to post this when our boy wakes up at 3am!
Comments
Love,
Mer
Love,
Renae.