You Can Teach An Old Dog New Tricks... But The Dog May Not Like It

As you can tell, I am back and finally connected to the real world again... via our brandnew laptop.

I would tell you about how Sim braved Friday night traffic and drove to 4 different Best Buys in 3 different counties with the farthest being 2 hours from our home in order to get a computer that was on sale, and how he got that computer home a week ago but that it was broken and how I swear if he could have he would have crawled up into fetal position right then and there and cried.

But I'm the only one allowed to do that in our family.

So I did.

And I certainly won't write about him comparing me to a crack addict and saying I need to go to a 12 step program for Google addicts..... but we won't talk about that.

And you did read the part where the first computer he brought home was broken right? I guess God was trying to teach me a lesson and didn't feel it was important that I get on the internet immediately to find out if the guy who plays Hector on The Electric Company is related to the 80's actor Brian Bloom, who used to play Dusty on As the World Turns because... hello! they're the spitting image of each other and oh my gosh.. those eyes! And didn't Brian Bloom used to date that girl from Kate & Allie and, hey, I wonder what ever happened to her and, good grief, someone get me a computer asap because I'm having wikipedia withdrawal.

For the record, they're not related and I only know that because.. bada bang bada boom... Sim exchanged the broken (new) computer and I'm sitting here this Monday morning typing away on my brand spanking new laptop.

Whoo hoo!

So it's been awhile since I last blogged, so I have to apologize for all the run-on's and the grammar mistakes... and, oh who am I kidding... they shoulda yanked away my English degree years ago. But, anyway, the title of this blog post has nothing to do with actual dogs, but with the fact that I'm having to learn to navigate the tiny keys and screen of a laptop computer.

The keys are soooo small and soooo close together. And the screen is soooo tiny. It just tires me out. Is this what the new wave of technology is all about? Honestly, it just makes me want to pop in an 8-track, take some Metamucil, put my teeth in a glass and go to bed.

Seriously, I'm sure the actual keys on the keyboard are the same size as a regular, the-way-God-intended-it keyboard of yesteryear... but they're so close together. They're made for the fingers of a 5 year old or some sort of contortionist from Cirque de Soleil.... not someone of my stature who has troll fingers.

Somewhere, I'm sure my mom is reading this and saying, "See... that's what you get for popping your knuckles all those years. I knew it!"

Yep, me and Shrek. Our fingers are just too fat to keep up with the advances of the 21st century.

Surely, from reading this you now all know that I can't text, either. Oh my goodness, I'd have to push the letters with the end of a bobby pin. It's wearing me out just thinking about it.

But... anyway... I do have a computer... yeah!!..... but I find it incredibly difficult to type on which means I'm hardly on it. So, I have a computer... but I'm not on it all the time.

Kind of the best of both worlds.

Hey, isn't that a Hannah Montana song? Which reminds me that I really need to just buy the HM movie that came out not long ago because I keep spending money renting it at the Red Box and didn't I see a coupon for it online a few weeks ago and I wonder if it's on sale this week at Target because they have great sales. Man, I wish they'd build a Target out here, but I heard a rumor that we're getting a Sam's club and I wonder if I can find any information about that on their website... which reminds me that I'm also out of my Orbit Positively Pomegranate gum that I buy in bulk at Sam's Club and, hey, I've read that chewing gum is a good therapy for kids with RAD and I think my friend Christine told me about it. Oh wow, I haven't read her blog in ages because we've been without the internet and I wonder what she's up to... which reminds me that I'm visiting her next month when I'm in Austin and oh my gosh... I'm going to Austin next month and haven't even booked a hotel yet. Need to do that and, shoot, I forgot that I have to do Defensive Driving this week and there goes 6 hours of my life. That cop who gave me the ticket had on those nasty mirrored sunglasses that remind me of Top Gun and, hey, when did that movie come out? 86? 87? I really need to find that out or it will drive me crazy.

12-step program? Thank goodness Sim doesn't know what he's talking about. I've got it all under control.

Control... I wonder what the origin of the word control is... is there a website that looks up origins of words? Maybe I could go to Dictionary.com or I could just google it and why am I wanting to look it up? Is there a sickness that causes people to look up origins of words? Hmm... I wonder. Maybe I should google it. Speaking of google, I heard someone talking about a new search engine and..... trailing off...