One Month Home

About a year ago, I started following the blog of a family who was adopting a rather high profile child. You know, one of the kids that has an urgent appeal and his or picture gets passed around on adoption forums and blogs and Facebook.

I was so excited when this child found a family. I participated in fundraisers and eagerly stalked  their blog for updates. When they were in-country, I would wake up and check their blog first thing in the morning to see if they had posted. I was so incredibly excited for them. I wanted to know how he was doing, what foods he liked, what he thought of his new family, everything.

But, you know what? He came home and the family stopped blogging. And in a really weird way, I was crushed. I almost felt betrayed. I know that's really silly, because they are complete strangers, but some of you might know what I'm talking about. It's just that I was so emotionally invested in his adoption and I wanted to keep updated and then they just sort of disappeared.

Ya'll.... I've become that family.  And I'm so so sorry.

What I know now is that the family was probably extremely overwhelmed and extremely busy and trying desperately to find a new normal.  And the reason I think that is because that's where we are right now.

And the reason I'm writing right now is, because, after nearly a month home (on Friday), things are starting to slow down. Only by about 10%, but that 10%?? We'll take it!

Before I worry any of you, let me just say that Naveen is a dream.

He is wonderful. He has an incredible personality and is such a ham. He loves to show off his dance moves and let me tell you, that boy has rhythm! Expect to see him on So You Think You Can Dance in about 15 years time. He's really playful and loves sweets. He's currently on the "all-white" diet"... bananas, rice, yogurt, potatoes, corn chips, popcorn, ice cream, noodles, cookies.... you know, just like the food pyramid recommends.

Food has probably been our biggest issue. He ate non-stop when he first got home. Literally 4 or 5 hard-boiled eggs and 4 bananas at a time. I'm being serious. This past week he's really started to get comfortable with us and his eating has slowed down a lot. He won't try a single colored fruit or vegetable to save his life - even in smoothie form. He and Noah are soul mates.

Speaking of the kids, they're doing great! Nandi and Eli adore him and it's been so good to see that each of them actually has a caring side. lol  I really do believe that Naveen is our missing puzzle piece. He's united the kids together in a way I never thought possible.  Noah... well, that's a different story. He cried for the first ten days and it broke my heart. Every time I came near him, he'd just cry and push me away. I can't even begin to tell you how devastated that made me. See,  I used take Noah for a ride on his bike everyday, but Naveen wants to be carried all the time and I can't push Noah on his bike (it's an adapted bike) while carrying Naveen.  I used to read to Noah all the time, but Naveen starts distracting me to get my attention, so the book reading has taken a backseat. I used to bathe Noah every morning while reading to him, but Naveen wants to climb in there with him and bathe him himself. Everyone could see that Noah was struggling, so my parents and Simeon try to do something special with Noah every few days. It might just be going to Lowe's with Sim or going to Whataburger for breakfast with Nonna and Papa, but slowly, Noah's started to accept that Naveen is not the devil incarnated. In fact, I scolded Naveen the other day and Noah slapped me on the shoulder and gave me a dirty look. I think the little devil angel might be winning him over.

But, really, the main reason I haven't been able to write is because... well... truthfully... Naveen is quite the handful. It's a bit like having a Laborador puppy... you can't leave him alone for even one second.  He's poured a tub full of legos in the washing machine. He's flushed things down the toilet several times and stopped it up. I took a phone call and in those ten minutes, he pulled a chair up to the kitchen sink, plugged it, emptied a whole bottle of dishwashing  liquid, and turned on the water full blast. It flooded the kitchen. He poured an entire salt shaker on the dog food. He's obsessed with the toilet and I have caught him several times washing his hands in the toilet. He also gave me a drink of water.. from the toilet.  Didn't catch that one until I watched him go get a refill. Ewwww.  He's emptied our bookshelves a few times. The boy is lightening fast. I can be standing right next to him and he can clear a bookshelf in less than 5 seconds.

Does this scene look familiar? Look below

 

Cooking is impossible and as much as I hate to admit this, I have to keep it real. We had fast food every day for the first three weeks. Sometimes for each meal. I'm not joking. It was disgusting, but I was so overwhelmed, Sim went back to work two days after we came home (and is gone 13 hours a day), and Naveen alternated (and still alternates) between being so clingy that I can literally do nothing but sit down on the couch with him or so hyper that it's like running around the house chasing a wind-up toy. Or a balloon that someone filled up and then let fly across the room. Laundry piled up, the house was/is/will always be dirty, but I have to make sure that Naveen adjusts to us and bond with us and so everything else is on the back burner.

On Friday I went on FB and begged for everyone's favorite crockpot recipe because I had become so disgusted with eating things that came in cardboard boxes. The crockpot has become a lifesaver. And if you have a favorite recipe, please feel free to share it!!  As Naveen now refuses naps, he gets clingy and whiny from 4 o'clock on and it makes doing anything in the kitchen impossible.... so the last 4 days, I've made things in the morning and they're ready by supper time and why oh why didn't I think of this before?

By the way, I just have to say that if you know of someone who is adopting and you want to help, honestly, I think the best thing to do would be to bring them a meal. People bring meals for newborns and they just sleep all day (okay, not really, but you know what I mean).. But a 2/3/4 year old will pull out every single drawer in the kitchen, find where you hide the screwdriver and stick it down the garbage disposal and flip the switch before you even get the milk out of the fridge. I suck at asking for help, but I swear that if someone had brought us a meal, I would have started sobbing, french kissed them, and then changed Naveen's name to whatever their first name is and sent them flowers every month in appreciation.

There's so much to say and I don't even know how to describe all that's gone on in the last month. But I know that Naveen needs me and needs my time. The kids need me and need my time. Although they're all adjusting well, we've seen some old behaviors crop up. Peeing in the bed, on the floor, outside. Sleep disrupted. Clinginess. Every single one of them wants me to hold them and rock them. There's been birth parent sadness, a husband who now shares his bed with a toddler, a mom who is so tired and overwhelmed.... but there's also been more laughter in this family than I can remember. Naveen is so funny, and although things are hard right now, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I honestly don't know how often I'll be updating. Right now, the kids are outside in the pool (not Naveen, though, he's scared of the water, so he's playing in the sand box), and I'm on the back porch with them typing on the lap top. But I don't want it to become a habit. I don't want their summer to go by with me sitting on the computer all day.  So I'll update when I can.

I do get on Facebook more often, so if you want to friend me on Facebook, then feel free to email me your name and I'll friend you. My email is recoveringnoah@yahoo.com .

And, lastly, I have now have a three year-old! Today's Naveen's birthday. In typical Leslie style I haven't taken a single picture. We're having a party at my mom's on Saturday, so I'm sure there will be picture taking there. He did find his present (a shopping cart) a few days earlier (little snooper!) and he loves it.

Breaking stereotypes one child at a time....

That's all for now. Sorry it took this long to update. Have a great week!