I originally started this blog a few years ago to chronicle Noah's daily struggles with autism. It was a dark time in my life - a time when I felt that things would never get better. It was a time when I felt that all my hopes and dreams for my son and for our family had died. In my efforts to help Noah recover from autism, I began a journey that inadvertently led me to rediscover myself. I learned how to laugh again. How to dream again. How to live again. How to love again.

Autism Schmaustism. He's still our son.

This is a blog celebrating our family. Our kids. Our life.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Happy Birthday Sweet Noah!

I could've sworn that when I put him to bed last night, he looked like this...

But when he woke up this morning, he looked like this...

(Disclaimer - Eli picked out his clothes!!)

A beautiful and sweet ELEVEN year old!

Happy Happy Birthday to the boy who stole my heart, changed my life, and started it all.

Noah Partha, I love you more than you will ever know. And it is such a privilege being your mom. I am so grateful that I've been able to spend these last 10 years with you and watch you  grow into the handsome, funny, and intelligent young man you are today.

If only the whole world could see what we get to see everyday. If only they knew how brave and how strong you are and how each day that you're alive is a miracle. Everything you do is a miracle. Walking next to me in the grocery store and putting veggies into plastic bags? That's a miracle. Learning how to stack blocks on top of each other? Another miracle. Bringing the peanut butter jar to me when you want to play with the lid? People would never know what a milestone that is in your life.

You are the reason I wake up in the morning.

My entire life has changed because of you. I resisted at first, and I grieved for a long time. I kicked and screamed and spent years looking for the magic pill that would take you back to the boy in that first picture up above. But I am forever grateful for the day when I began to see what a miracle you are and how amazing and funny and intelligent you can be.

Out of all our kids, you're the only one who likes me to read to him.  You're the only one who loves classical music and who shares my love for history. You enjoy going for walks and sitting behind your Papa on the four wheeler. You find pleasure in the simplest of things.

I know that you're aware of what's going on. And I know there are days when sometimes it just seems too much.  I hear you crying at night, more often that I'd like to admit, but you always have a smile on your face when you wake up in the morning, as if to say, "What? I get to spend another day with you, Mom? I love life!"

I just wanted to thank you, Noah Partha. You have taught me the meaning of true and unconditional love. You've given me patience and insight and a tolerance for people that I might otherwise never have.  It's your birthday, sweet boy, but I'm the one feeling incredibly blessed.

I love you to the moon and back
As far as the sun
And as deep as the sea
Forever and ever
My love for you will always be